


Life sentence

by toxicbolts



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: (many others that i cannot remember bc it's 2 am and im TIRED), Canonical Character Death, Character Development, Character Study, Family, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 02:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxicbolts/pseuds/toxicbolts
Summary: He tries to remember, why he is fighting, why he is still alive, why he definitely can do this.





	Life sentence

**Author's Note:**

> First, I have to thank @m122y for writing their wonderful fanfic "Keep It To Yourself", that served as an initial inspiration for this fanfic.
> 
> Second, I have to warn you, this fanfic has mild gore in the beginning, and themes of suicide. Please be careful when reading, and skip parts if you need it. Or don't read it if it's too much for you. Please, be safe.
> 
> Third, this is a vent fanfic and I'm obviously self projecting. Try and stop me.
> 
> Fourth, the premise of this fanfic is recovery, and how it feels like going up some particularly shitty stairs.
> 
> Fifth, thank my good friend @gghero, that has been supporting me while I wrote all of this. She's awesome.
> 
> Sixth, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Be gay, do crimes!

Working for the INTERPOL, Nanu has seen his good share of complicated situations. He knows that, sometimes, missions are not easy to accomplish. Sometimes, they are total failures.

Calling this one a failure would be an understatement.

He cannot stop looking, cannot stop listening. The bulge that used to be a person, her clothes shredded, the few skin among the flesh he is actually capable of seeing wet with blood, hair sticky and bloody. He hears a crack, damp and unnatural, unclean, and he identifies the sound as bones breaking, being crushed in that beast’s rows of teeth. 

Another crunch. Yet another one. Another crack. The body opening up even more allows him to smell it. Even a butcher’s shop smells cleaner. He realises it’s not just blood, and before he can do anything about it, he is puking, finally letting his tears flow.

She has stopped screaming some minutes ago, but Nanu swears he can still hear her in his head. To be completely honest, the screams were preferable. They meant she was still alive, and that he could still help her.

Powerlessness crushes his willpower even harder than fear does.

The monster’s hunger is never over. All of them know that, they had investigated it properly beforehand. Nothing could have possibly prepared them for it.

“This is not over” Nanu thinks. “We are next.”

UB05: Glutton, or Guzzlord, as it seems to be its true name, does not leave anything on its metaphorical plate. Like a black hole, it devours everything it can reach, nothing to be recovered from its victims. Nothing to show their families, so they can be buried properly. Not even the beast’s effing excrements. Absolutely nothing.

Agent 100kr tugs at his clothes, visibly disgruntled. He cannot hear what he is saying, but he understands. They have to flee. Now. While the Ultra Beast is busy. The mere thought is enough to make his stomach twist.

Safety comes with a price. And the one Nanu is paying almost makes him wish he was the one getting devoured by the Glutton. Guilt shakes him whole, and he feels like utter garbage. The young woman died so both of them could escape. His pain cannot remotely compare to hers.

Even if he rationally knows, even if he has always been good at analyzing things from a cold perspective, he cannot help but truly craving death. And the feeling does not disappear when he quits his job and goes back home. His former job makes it easy for him to become a police chief in Ula’Ula. It pays worse than working for the INTERPOL, but it allows him to calmly retire without really leaving his job.

He should have known it wouldn’t be easy. He wakes each morning with screams of pain in his head, the sight of blood pooling, the smell. The sounds of chewing on flesh and bones. Day after day.

It’s not surprising for him, that he ends up not being able to even do his job, and having to rely on officers with a lower rank that do not feel constantly tired and empty. He feels incompetent, but lacks the strength to even care.

Until he realises he cannot take it anymore.

His red eyes swift nervously, looking for something, anything, that would ease his pain. Luckily or not, he hasn’t gotten into the habit of self harming, at least not actively. Even dealing with the injuries would be a pain, so he wastes his health away with cheap food (he cannot even find the willpower to go to his favourite sushi restaurant), tobacco, and naps that would make even his Persian look active.

The poor pokémon looks rightfully worried about him, curled against him when it’s allowed outside of its pokéball, purring at him in a futile effort to cheer him up. So he makes sure it’s locked inside of its pokéball when he leaves the office, determined and uneasy, his brand new sandals feeling heavier than the classy shoes he used to wear when he was not rotting away in his hometown.

When he walks in front of a cliff, looking at the rocks below him, the waves furiously hitting the earth, he wonders if it’s a fitting end for someone like him. And he almost smiles. Being engulfed by a fiery wetness, his bones smashed against the rocks… it would be the least he deserves. It would not be even half of the pain she suffered back then. And the sights are pretty enough.

He takes off his sandals, and breathes. He cannot calm down, but he knows he doesn’t need to. Death is lenient enough to take you no matter how you feel about it.

He observes, in silence, savoring the last moments of his life, slowly walking towards the edge of the cliff.

“Jump.” he tells himself. “Just jump. Don’t think too much about it.”

And he tries. He tries to do it, his legs paralyzed, red eyes wet. His body feels heavy, almost as much as his eyelids.

He swears the grass around him is getting more colorful. More alive. Something that surprises him, given that everything feels definitely grayer since the incident happened. He hears a scream, a inhuman one, something he has heard during all of his life, even when he was a little kid. Loud noises make him feel uncomfortable now, and he gets terrified by some of them. The sight he gets is anything but scary, though.

Tapu Bulu is floating in front of him, not letting him advance any further. He asks himself why, because Tapu Bulu is known for almost never leaving his ruins, not fond of others, always seeming to seek solitude. That’s something he shares with it, he supposes. But the Guardian of the Island is shining, its eyes like nails on Nanu’s red ones.

And that’s when he understands.

“No… it can’t be…”

He feels his knees shaking until they finally give in, and he falls to the ground, on his knees. He is crying, he realises. Because of the realisation that he did not really want to end his life, and he now feels like a coward for it; and because of the implications Tapu Bulu’s actions have.

He is not fit for the job. He is not good with people, like the kahunas of Melemele or Poni are. There is nothing about him to admire, unlike them. Hala is strong, powerful, and boisterous, like anyone chosen by Tapu Koko should be, and still trusted by everyone around him. The Kahuna of Poni is a down-to-earth person, married to his sweet wife, and devoted to his ranch, which Tapu Fini obviously liked about him. What is he, compared to them? A traumatized and depressed man with a big cat taking care of him so he doesn’t kill himself, living in a tiny office with an old sofa.

What is the title of kahuna to him, if not a life sentence? Forcing him to live a life that he doesn’t want. To take a duty that will end up hurting him even more. To stay alive. To end up defending the island from its enemies, that will come sooner or later. And that includes the Glutton, of course. He knows that much, and the mere thought makes him want to vomit.

Nobody can refuse the task a Tapu entrust into one. Absolutely nobody. And Nanu is no exception. He goes back home made a hero, but he knows that there are not few people that doubt him. It’s not that he is not strong enough, he is one of the strongest trainers he knows, but he is obviously not the kind of person others trust easily. He is not charismatic, or reliable. He is nothing a kahuna should be.

That night, he can’t sleep, and keeps his mind busy with beer, and his purring best friend, that seems to look at him with evident relief. His colleagues used to ask him, why a cat, and why a dark type, if police officers tend to prefer dog pokémon, always loyal and well behaved. Unlike cats, and dark types, that are thought as unfriendly, hostile, and too selfish to work in a lawful environment. But when his Persian softly kneads on him, meowing loudly, Nanu knows he wouldn’t have it in any other way.

It’s Persian itself the one that finds the first stray of many, a tiny Meowth that looks way too thin, the jewel on his forehead dull, and too scared of humans. Nanu takes it in his own home, gives it clean water and delicious cat food, provides it a bed, and Persian’s old toys. After that, it’s a matter of waiting, like he did with Persian, a Meowth back then, back in the day. Cats have their own pace, they can’t be forced to behave the way humans want them to. They are independent, peculiar, and good natured. They are free. Unlike him.

Others rely on him often. Or at least, they want to. The police, the administration. He just wants to nap and take care of his cats, so he weasels out of his obligations as a kahuna anytime he finds it too overwhelming. Not being able to refuse his position doesn’t mean he has to be hard-working and accepting the demands of fellow humans. So he takes a nap in the middle of nowhere, knowing he won’t be bothered until they finally find him.

Not many years after Nanu’s coronation, Tapu Lele punishes Akala’s kahuna for their misdeeds as the leader of the local gang, removing their title, and Nanu wishes it was him. The guy probably got fried by Tapu Lele, known for its healing abilities, but equally fearsome when angry; but Nanu has seen worse. Gods are merciless, but Ultra Beasts are outright cruel. The bad thing about the whole ordeal, is that it means more work for the three remaining kahunas, and while he would love to just ignore it all, he cannot leave Hala, who has his whole family falling apart because of the pressure; and Poni’s kahuna, too old and weakened to work as hard as he would like to.

They are hard times, until Tapu Lele chooses a young woman as a Kahuna, Olivia from Konikoni. She’s way too young for all of this shit, Nanu thinks, but she is strong and resourceful, and has a big, soft heart that makes everyone like and respect her. She will probably be okay, he thinks.

Olivia is a soft kid, head in the clouds about romance and strong feelings that would crush everything if she wasn’t such a gentle soul. Piled shoujo manga on her shelves, crystals carefully shaped by her very diligently manicured nails. She gives Nanu one of her finished necklaces, and to say he is embarrassed about it would be an understatement. He is not really a jewelry person, but Olivia’s sad face hits him hard on his worst weakness. She is a teen, and he cannot be truly mean to kids.

“Back off, I’ll wear it forever.” he says, not looking at her in the eye, but knowing she must be confused about his attitude.

“Let him be.” the kahuna of Poni says, with a tired but amused smile. Nanu rolls his eyes.

Hala nods, still laughing, and gently grabs Nanu’s shoulder, ever fond of physical contact.

“He is nice once you look past his ten layers of fear, distrust, and apathy.”

“Screw you.”

Sadly, things do get screwed. Hala’s wife dies not too long after their conversation, and his relationship with his son becomes strained at best. Anger comes naturally to Hala, and they all fear he will say something that he will regret all of his life, sooner or later. 

It ends up happening, unsurprisingly. Hala’s son leaves Alola for good, leaving a child who is way too young to understand, and that looks at his grandfather with a sunny smile that leaves Hala defenseless. That child is going to become Hala’s whole reason to keep living, Nanu knows that much. The Kahuna of Poni can’t help but sighing.

“He reminds me so much of my own grandchild… Maybe they could be friends one day. Even if Hapu is not really fond of boys.”

His grandchild, Hapu, is a little girl that loves horses, the earth, and girls her age. She blushes furiously whenever Olivia talks to her, and looks at Nanu with judging eyes that do not seem possible for a child her age. She lost her parents when she was barely a baby, and the family is trying to get their lives back, without much success.

Nanu is not a stranger to loss, but he doesn’t know what he can do about it. How can he help them deal with it when he hasn’t get over it himself, and probably never will. That’s why they decide to gather together at least once per month. Olivia suggests making a sleepover from time to time. They all laugh at the idea. They end up going with it anyways.

Years later, Team Skull gets created, inspired by the kahuna that defied the gods themselves, rebelling against Alola’s whole system. Against the Island Challenge, Trial Captains, and kahunas. The leader is not much more than a kid, taller than most kids he knows, hair dyed white, and a perpetual expression of frustration. Hala knows the kid, he was one of his pupils back in the day. Life ruined because of expectatives, and parents that are suspected of being abusive. Nanu can’t say he can’t relate.

Team Skull moves into Po Town, the ghost town cursed by the Tapu themselves. It’s fitting for them, and nobody wants to get close to the town for obvious reasons. So, he looks for a cheap rent (not that anyone wants to live near Po Town, and even less now that it’s the base of the regional gang), and moves near Po Town. All of his cats follow him, happy to be able to explore their surroundings without danger. It’s not as if Team Skull like hurting pokémon, and there is not many people around, to begin with. When people ask him about it, he just shrugs, and says the rent is cheap. He is not technically lying.

He decides to venture into the town. People around him doubt if he has much attachment to his life (and honestly, what kind of stupid question is that? Of course he doesn’t, he has been suicidal since he can remember) to even try to get close to someone like Guzma, known for having beaten his own father to a pulp, no matter how much his mother insists that he is a good kid, deep down, and that he would never be related to gangs. Ignorance is bliss, but Nanu guesses that Guzma is not much more than a scared kid, locking himself in a ghost town for safety like pokémon get locked in pokéballs, while baring his teeth and pretending to be bigger, badder, and scarier than he really is. Nanu understands. Even if now it seems unlikely, he was young once, too.

They do not welcome him very warmly, to say the least. Not that he is surprised, he is the kahuna of the island, and a cop. Some people even know or have heard rumors about him being with the INTERPOL when he was younger. He is right into hostile territory, but assholes like him have no fear. Some of the kids insult him (because that’s what they are, kids, most of them are minors that look at him as if he was some kind of ancient god, and bark at him like a scared Poochyena), but a couple of them have the common sense to call someone in charge. Something about a “big sis”, and Nanu arches one of his eyebrows.

As it turns out, Team Skull’s “big sis” is actually someone competent. Maybe even more than Guzma himself. Plumeria is older than the grunts, her amber eyes piercing him without effort. She is not afraid, unlike the rest of them. Her dyed bicolor hair reminds him of punks in Kalos. This girl, though, is definitely Alolan. As he learns later with a little of snooping into it, she comes from a family that lives in a caravan near the desert where the ruins are.

“What do you want, Nanu.”

No honorifics, and straight to the point. Man, he already likes this kid. She is strong, and looks reliable. He’s totally going to give her Olivia’s number one day.

“Hey, relax. I’m in charge of this island, remember? No need to make a fuss about me being here.”

“What. Do. You. Want.” Plumeria asks again, irritated, but not losing her cool and composed attitude. Why is Guzma the boss when this girl is around, he wonders.

“Wanted to check on you. No need to get nervous.” he casually answers, and he catches Plumeria´s hand tensely reaching for her pokéballs, but she stops herself midway. She has guts, and can be reasoned with, even if she won’t probably trust him… well, ever. Not that he can blame her.

“We don’t need to be checked on. Now piss off.”

“Are you sure? You have a bunch of kids with you. Maybe you should rely on adults a little more instead of being locked in here.”

“Some of us are adults. And we don’t need your compassion, all of these boneheads can take care of themselves.”

“And if they can’t?”

“Then they have me.”

Nanu can be careful, but sometimes, his dick-ish self takes over and there is not much that he can do.

“They have you? You? Not Guzma?”

As he expected, Guzma lacks the fortitude Plumeria has. All the grunts react strongly to his question, and he can see Plumeria visibly tense.

“For the last time, Nanu. Go away.”

Nanu decides that he has been pushing his luck way too much. It’s not that he cannot defeat Plumeria, she may be strong, but he is still the kahuna. He is older, wiser, and more astute. Still, he smartly surrenders, not without offering a last piece of advice.

“Just don’t make it more difficult for me, alright?” he starts, as he turns around, ready to leave. His sandals are way too old for the rainy weather, and his feet are getting cold. “If you need me, I live just outside Po Town. See you around.”

And he gets out. He sighs, relieved, and looks at the time. Time to feed his ever hungry hairy children.

Surprisingly, some of the grunts do visit him sometimes. Mostly when he is not around, though. They seem to like his Meowth well enough, and the cats like the grunts back. Better for them to be petting cats than breaking havoc.

Still, Team Skull is a big problem, yet another issue he has to check on from time to time. In the end, the only thing he likes about being kahuna is how kids look at him with shiny eyes and big smiles, asking him for advice, and playing with his Meowth.

And as if attracted by the chaotic region Alola is becoming, the Aether Foundation appears basically out of nowhere like a lifesaver, with very suspicious administrative permissions to build an artificial island in the middle of the sea. No matter how much they say it won’t affect the ecosystem, or that they are housing both humans and pokémon, Nanu doesn’t trust them. He knows better than to look at immaculate buildings and uniforms with anything but disdain and suspicion. And his gut is usually right. The company will be on the hands of Lusamine, the president’s heir, sooner or later. And something about that woman just feels off, even if he can’t tell exactly why.

The good thing about Aether, is that they actually do house pokémon and people. So, in the end, many orphans end up having a place to call home. He doesn’t really like the prospect of letting them construct something akin to an orphanage in the Tapu village. They do have their papers in order, and it’s not technically a sacred territory (unlike what happened with the old Thrifty Megamart), so he has to allow it. Also, to be fair, he cannot let children sleeping in the streets and in public buildings clearly not made for housing, if he can help it.

It’s during that time, that he meets Acerola, and his life becomes exponentially better.

Everyone in Malie and the Tapu Village knows Acerola. She’s a little kid, that should be barely able to read, but spends her days reading books in the library of Malie to other kids, when she’s not playing in the Aether building that houses orphans. It’s truly a miracle they haven’t talked to each other when Nanu visits the library to get intel on what inevitably will happen to Alola one day. Acerola wears rags, and speaks about the past of her family as if it was an old tale. She is a descendant of the old Royal Family, she says. He has investigated a little, and apparently, the kid is not lying. It’s just that nobles are now kind of a Kalosian thing, and those creepy guys in Unova that talk about monarchy as if it was some kind of medieval tale in the present day. Alolan nobles got lost in time, and he did not think there was any of them left.

Still, the most prominent rumor about Acerola, strangely, is a very supernatural one. The child claims to be able to see ghosts, and talk to them. That’s not something Nanu can exactly investigate too much about, as there are stories about psychics and mediums all over the world. Phoebe, from the Hoenn Elite Four, is said to be able to do the same thing, and it’s supposed to be a family thing.

He meets Acerola in Malie, as he exits his favorite sushi restaurant. The kid is holding a book, too big for her tiny hands and frail complexion. He doesn’t recognize her at first, but she does recognize him, her cat-like features immediately making him interested. Cats and children, his biggest weaknesses.

“Alola, mister!” she says, in a sing-song voice, her old dress moving softly along with her movements.

“A… Alola.” he answers, not really sure about how he should say to such a cheerful little girl. Way too cheerful for someone who is able to see and talk to ghosts, in particular. He had pondered if seeing ghost wasn’t something… traumatic and utterly terrifying.

“You’re kahuna Nanu, right? I see you looking for books about Alolan legends! I love those, too!”

No point in trying to pretend not to be the kahuna, then. Nanu sighs, tired, and raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I suppose. And who are you?”

“My name’s Acerola! And I’m a ghost type trainer!”

Of course she is. Nanu likes ghost types well enough, but he really prefers to be able to pet his pokémon, thank you very much. Even Sableye, who is part ghost is way less ethereal than most ghost types. Its sharp teeth look very corporeal indeed, as some scars not so tenderly remind him. Being a dark type trainer is hard, sometimes. You get bitten, scratched, or get your skin bruised if you are stupid enough to hug a freaking Sharpedo. He is definitely not stupid enough to hug a Sharpedo.

“Interesting choice, kid.” he concedes, because it is, indeed. Most children are scared of ghosts, after all, but for that girl, ghosts seem to be something natural, not something to fear.

“Thank you!” she replies with a feline smile, and Nanu swears he is looking at one of his cats, the tender feeling briefly shocking him. Cats and children, his biggest weaknesses, and somehow this little girl is both of them at the same time.

“Anyways, kid. Any reason to approach me?” he asks, trying not to think about cute cats or the starry eyed children who visit him to receive guidance about their island challenges. He is rightfully a little suspicious. The kid seems to be genuinely nice, but he knows she probably sees something weird near him. Like the ghost of a young woman, for example. Hopefully not a spirit that reflects the way it died.

“Well, you looked like a nice person, and I’m glad I was right!”

To say Nanu is shocked would be an understatement. Him? A nice person? Since when?

“That’s new. I can’t say I don’t like the compliment, but I’m not the most outstanding citizen, kid.”

“Not true. Tapu Bulu wouldn’t have chosen you if you were bad.”

Nanu purses his lips. He really doesn’t want to remember his coronation. Ever. So he decides to take the bull by the horns himself, and ask.

“Look, kid. You don’t need to be scared, I’m not gonna get mad. You… You can see a ghost near me, don’t you?”

Acerola blushes, like a child being caught in the middle of a little of mischief. Which she is.

“Yes, mister…” she admits in a soft voice. “I thought it would be rude to point it out… But I do think you are a great person.”

She is not lying, and Nanu can feel himself relax a little.

“It’s not angry, mister Nanu.” she starts, measuring her words, and Nanu realises she has probably gotten yelled at because of this, or worse. “It’s… rather protective of you. It does not want you to suffer because of something that happened so long ago, and that you could not control or prevent.”

Nanu has to stop himself from crying in front of the little girl.

As it turns out, the ghost is not the gorey mess he saw the last time she was alive. That’s relieving, not because of himself, that cannot see it following him around, as if it was a part of his body. It certainly is, since her death and the consequent trauma has warped who he is as a person, forever. Forgiving himself is not easy, and he is not sure if he will be able to do it, ever. He cannot remember not feeling tired, the weight of the world way too heavy for him. To be completely honest, he does not, in fact, remember much before the incident happened, just bits and pieces. Details about his life and childhood that he cannot quite reach.

He feels glad about Acerola, and people like her, that do not have to experience his own trauma merely because they were born with the ability to see dead people. Well, dead people, and dead pokémon, even if they are not ghost types; as she corrects him one day.

Strangely enough, he ends up getting along with the kid without truly realising. She comes to visit him often, many times in the same week, just to check on him, play with his cats, and talk about life and pokémon. He realises, not without a hint of irony, that she is kind of one of his strays, playful and energetic, giving him yet another reason to keep living. It’s as if her reliable and perceptive nature were healing to his old and damaged heart. He finds himself moping less often, suicidal ideations less common. He stays healthy and safe, for her sake. She is way too smart for such a young little girl, but he does want her not to have to deal with the weight of adulthood… ever, if possible. He wants her to stay happy, and being an adult sadly crushes that happiness more than often.

A couple of years later, when he gets a phone call from Poni, and the kahuna’s wife greets him with a tired, shaking voice, he closes his eyes, because he has lived long enough to recognise that tone. His friend is dead. Had fought against old age and sickness for so many years that his death feels sudden. Nobody lives forever, though, as Nanu reminds himself. The woman reassures him that little Hapu and herself are okay, and need no help. He still passes by sometimes to make sure of it, though. The problem is, as it turns out, that the old man had some kahuna duties unfinished, and Nanu groans out loud.

He himself has lots of shit he hasn’t dealt with. Molayne has been reminding him for ages that he is not a trial captain anymore, and that his little cousin would be perfect for the job, if he approved of him. Molayne is a great guy and all, but he cannot find the strength to care too much about his demands, so he allows it, and tells him that if his cousin meets Molayne’s criteria, he trusts his judgement.

What does surprise him is that Acerola asks him for a job as a trial captain, too, and he warns her, not to get involved with the Tapu, that it’s not worth it, but Acerola is adamant about it.

“I have a trial prepared already! The abandoned Thrifty Megamart is full of ghost pokémon, and there is a Mimikyu in there that could easily become a totem pokémon.”

He doesn’t want Acerola to go near sacred ground, but he knows Tapu Bulu would appreciate Acerola making that shitty Megamart into something that actually cherishes Alolan traditions. So he sighs, and cracks his shoulders, and Acerola already knows she has won.

“Thank you! I swear I won’t disappoint you, uncle Nanu.”

They both freeze a little at the term of endearment. It’s not unusual for Alolan kids to refer to adults they love as “aunt” or “uncle”, even more if there is indeed a parent-like relationship. Nanu realises that he has, in fact, come to see the kid as something like his daughter, or granddaughter, but putting it into words is more embarrassing than he would have thought.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. If that’s what you want to do, I’m not stopping you. Just be careful.”

Acerola smiles like it’s the best day of her life, and it probably is, Nanu realises. The kid, no matter how much she smiles, is crafting her happiness with her own hands. She’s an orphan, and her only family are the other kids living in the Aether House, and their caretakers. She must have been lonely, even more when gifted with a power that has probably isolated her more than once. Realisation hits him. Acerola feels less lonely since he is around, and he can feel his eyes getting wet at the thought. Someone like him, actually making someone’s life better, it feels like a sick joke.

Leaving Acerola with Aether is something he has to do. He doesn’t have the means to take care of her, or provide her a decent house, with a decent environment. Acerola doesn’t need to be taken care of by someone like him, who can barely take care of himself. He doesn’t trust Aether, though, even less when Team Skull starts behaving erratically, stealing pokemon without a proper explanation about why. Team Skull is not Team Rocket, they don’t have the resources to actually take advantage economically of stolen pokémon. Not on their own, at least. But he has no proof, and decides to wait, always watching, trying to discern something, anything, on Lusamine’s public façade, and observing Team Skull even more closely.

As it turns out, he has to take care of Poni’s business, too, and when a little girl, not much older than Acerola, side-eyes him with bored eyes, her face and hair full of paint, he can’t help but liking her.

“So, you’re the only trial captain in Poni, I’m guessing. What’s your name, kid?”

“Mina.” she says, way more concentrated in her sketchbook than in him. Kids usually lose their shit about kahunas, but the girl doesn’t seem to be very interested in the Trial, if at all. A kindred spirit.

“Did the old man chose you?”

“Yeah, he said that it was his last wish or something, to have a proper trial in Poni. He was a cool guy, but…”

“But you really would prefer if you could do your thing instead of this annoying stuff, right?”

Mina’s eyes widen, and she finally looks at him properly. She nods, softly, and Nanu smiles a little.

“Look, kid. You can take your time. I’m not asking you to have a trial and a totem pokémon out of the blue.”

“Really?” she looks surprised, and a little guilty. “Everyone has been pressuring me to be a proper captain, and that stuff. I didn’t know… I didn’t think…”

“That taking your time was a possibility? It is.” he reassures her, not so subtly trying to look uninterested, and failing miserably. “Look, it would be hypocritical of me to pester you about this. You will be free when you turn nineteen, and you have lots of time until that happens. Don’t be impatient, and enjoy yourself.”

Mina’s eyes lighten up, and he wonders if the Tapu would like his reasoning, but to be completely honest, he doesn’t really give a fuck. He does what it’s right, not what some stupid deity thinks it has to be done.

“You’re a cool one, gramps.”

“Whatever, fairy kid.”

She blushes a little, shocked.

“How did you…”

“You have Rimbombee dust on your clothes. And I know for a fact that every Buginium-Z in the region has been stolen. You’re a fairy type user.”

He takes Mina’s amazed look as a little victory. It’s always nice when the kids think he is cool. Even if they will know the truth about how pathetic he is sooner or later.

He decides to take Mina under his wing, like he did with Acerola back in the day, even if it’s only for trial matters. Mina has a nice family who loves her, but he is sadly all Acerola has. He sighs at the thought, and wonders why such a sunny region is so full of sadness.

In the middle of the chaos, a child appears in front of Po Town one day, fearless and determined, and he has to warn her, at least. Be a somewhat responsible adult, Nanu. He realises that she is a trial goer, and her Z-Ring shows she started it in Melemele. Hala is probably going to kill him. It’s not that Team Skull is dangerous per say, but Guzma is unpredictable and has anger issues. Also he does not like losing, or people who make him feel weak and powerless.

When Moon emerges victorious from Po Town, he eavesdrops a little. The child meets another kid, that suspiciously resembles Lusamine and her late husband, Mohn. He looks scared, and angry, and his suspicions start clicking inside of his mind. Kids never cease to amaze him. They have proven themselves to at least be worthy of him stopping slacking off. It’s not as if he could conceal his identity as the island kahuna for much longer, anyways. He does not intend to go easy on them, Aether is not going to be merciful, and they have to be prepared.

Of course, Moon defeats him, and he is… actually happy. That little girl can do what he never could. He mechanically shows the two kids how to use their new Z-Move, delights himself with the terrified expression of the Aether kid, and goes back to his office to make some calls. They may not be able to investigate properly, as they don’t have proof, or permission from a judge, but they can wait to catch Aether redhanded.

What he did not expect (or at least, tried to convince himself that it wouldn’t happen) was the sky opening up like it’s doomsday, so he flies towards the Ruins like there’s no tomorrow. And to be completely honest with himself, there is a great probability of there being no tomorrow, as a matter of fact. Normally, he wouldn’t be concerned about perishing, but he cannot have the rest of the region disappearing because he was too depressed to move his lazy ass.

Tapu Bulu appears not much later than himself, and he rolls his eyes at the guardian deity. It loves to take its time, and lives its own way. More or less like himself. He wonders if that’s the reason it took a liking to him, or if it somehow knew what was about to happen. Because as the wormhole vomits a walking nightmare, Nanu feels his blood quickly going cold.

Fuck Tapu Bulu. Fuck the Tapu in general. Fuck his hand instinctively going to his belt, reaching for one of his pokéballs. Persian’s one vibrates restlessly, and he swallows. It really is perceptive.

He has to do this. He can’t let anyone else suffer the way he has been suffering for decades. His brain is probably tricking him yet again, because he can already hear chewing noises. Bones breaking. He breathes in, then breathes out.

Persian gets out of its pokéball, hissing bloody murder, ready to protect its trainer and best friend, and the whole region. Nanu laughs bitterly.

“You know, you should be kahuna, not me.”

Persian meows loudly, which very clearly translates to “shut the fuck up”. Tapu Bulu cries out in agreement, and Nanu sighs, and cracks his tired shoulders.

“Fine, fine…”

To be completely fair and honest with himself, it’s hard to look at Guzzlord and not think that he’s going to shit his pants sooner or later. He has to look, though, because Persian needs his commands and directions, and Tapu Bulu cannot do this alone.

“Persian, Fake Out.”

The big cat moves like lightning, and knocks out the Ultra Beast for a couple of seconds, enough that Tapu Bulu can hit him Nature’s Madness, its whole body shining as plants seem to be growing out of nothing, making intricate designs that would have been lovely to admire if he wasn’t scared shitless.

But of course, Guzzlord is not going to give up that easily. It takes a bite out of the ground, dangerously close to Persian, and swallows it whole, like it was nothing, looking more and more revitalized the more it eats.

“Shit…”

Persian’s angry meow makes him go back to reality. It’s right, of course.

“Yeah, yeah. Now that it’s distracted, use Power Gem. Aim for its eyes. The four of them.”

He knows that Persian likes that move, because it loves its forehead gem maybe more than it loves Nanu. Not that he can blame it. The blue gem glows, and shoots a light that hits on one of Guzzlord’s eyes, near its mouth. Can that monster even swallow attacks? He is shuddering, and sure hopes not. Tapu Bulu is shooting toward the other eye near Guzzlord’s mouth, and he is surprised that someone as honorable and calm as their guardian deity is using those dirty tricks. It must be really desperate.

Not that he doesn’t understand.

Maybe that’s why someone like Tapu Bulu likes him. Nanu may be a piece of shit that uses tricks in battle that others would deem too dishonest and unfair, but that’s what being a dark type specialist means, because that’s how dark types actually work. And even with that, he is betting his own life to protect this chaos of a region. He supposes that he is actually reliable when people need him the most.

He notices how Guzzlord is moving one of its arms, that of course, has a mouth, and he remembers the movement too well to let it happen again.

“Persian, dodge that! It’s Hammer Arm!”

Persian jumps backwards, and Guzzlord’s arm violently crashes against the ground, eating everything in its way. Luckily, it doesn’t touch Persian, who gracefully lands and spares the UB a look of disgust.

Nanu half smiles, and sighs, stressed out. It’s going to be a long battle, but he has to keep Guzzlord at bay, at least, until Moon finds the way to kick all the Ultra Beasts back to their own dimensions.

And when the power of the very same moon hurts the UB so much it retreats, he feels how heavy his own body is, because he is suddenly on his knees, sweating, and not being able to breathe. He tries the same technique as always, trying to breathe in and out, but can’t.

Maybe he is finally going to get the death he has been craving for so long. How pathetic, surviving a fight against his worst nightmare, but succumbing to a panic attack.

But luckily, Persian is there, yet again saving the day, refusing to leave him alone this time, nuzzling his face, and letting him feel its fur against his fingers to keep him grounded. 

He tries to remember, why he is fighting, why he is still alive, why he definitely can do this. His breath is weak, but at least he can inhale and exhale a little. 

He remembers his fellow kahuna, the ones that have been by his side since forever, the ones that are no longer alive but made his life better while they were, and the ones who are young and less experienced but whose presents (as his necklace reminds him) make him want to keep trying. He remembers Molayne and his cousin Sophocles, nerds inside and out, their hearts soft and full of compassion, of understanding. He remembers Team Skull, strong Plumeria, and troubled Guzma, and how much he wants them to overcome their struggles and become better people. He remembers Mina, talented and skillful, slowly finding her place in the world, but always being a free spirit and keeping an open mind.

He is already crying when he thinks about Acerola, his kid, his wonderful little girl. He remembers idle chats and afternoons eating sushi and malasada, both of them dodging Nanu’s Meowth when they tried to steal food from them. His beloved cats, that made his life less unhappy, like his own team has been doing since forever.

“You finally understand. I am glad…”

He thinks he is probably hallucinating, because that voice sounds oddly familiar, but there is not a single human near their location. He made sure to evacuate everyone in advance, after all.

“I can finally move on, now that I know that you are going to be alright.”

Nanu can breathe better, but still doesn’t feel like speaking. Not that he needs to, anyways. He has the feeling that there is nobody to listen to him anymore.

When he finally looks up, Tapu Bulu is levitating next to him, leaving him some space, but gently supporting him. It growls softly, in what clearly is a word of gratefulness, and Nanu luckily finds the strength to speak.

“Ye… yeah. You’re welcome.”

It better be fucking welcome. He thought he was going to die there. He cannot afford to make Acerola, and everyone else, sad and lonely. How fucking ironic.

His pokéballs are vibrating, but he touches them carefully, silently reassuring everyone that he is okay. Persian is purring, and he sweetly hugs it, laughing in a tired way when he feels a paw against his cheek.

And when he finally returns home, and Acerola almost tackles him, utterly worried, he ruffles her hair and utters an apology. She is hugging him, and for the first time, he hugs her back.


End file.
